lalalalalalalalalala. still early dunno wan do wad. dota frenz all afk. woked up at 4pm+ today la. and ate my dinner. so pro wake up st8 eat dinner le. and i wan to sae that i LOVE my mum's cooking. hahas. ppl who noe me well enuff noe i wont sae that to my mum. cuz i'll be paiseh to do that. it's not that i not close with my parents. juz that i have given them the image that i dun talk to them much so i'll keep it like that. for me to become a different person infront of someone i noe is hard for me. tt's why i make so few frenz. cuz i always leave ppl the 1st impression that i'm quiet so it'll be quite paiseh for me to suddenly become the crazy me infront of them. so even ppl who've know me for a long time might not be close to me. ANYWAE. the steamfish that my mom cook is GOSU k. if i won't get full i can eat 100000000000000000000 of steamfish she cook. LOL. for those who don't noe wad GOSU means. it means PRO. ok i think i used the wrong word. it shld be GOSUly delicious instead of GOSU. hehs. i wonder how many people out there around my age still tell their parents they love them. hahs. i wonder how old will i be when i will ever tell them that. i got 1 new ambition. is to become a successful businessman 1st and den open a restaurant. HAHS. FOOD FOOD FOOD. i LOVE FOOD.

and hor. i feel so glad when i woke up today and saw an sms. hehs. alrights. shld find some game to play and go to sleep. BYE.

YES. I WENT BACK PHS TODAY. but stayed not long. sian. i really wanna mingle with my juniors more de la. juz that have to go. lol. nvm. 17th APRIL. SYF. can see them again lawl. hope all the performing arts group do their best for their syf ba. if all of them really perform at their best during syf den getting gold or gold with honours is no prob 1 la. its juz the lack of consistency like wad yk said that is preventing us from reaching our target. and i got chua tio by the symphonic band. amazing till my hair stand. very nice budden can be better. and i'm impressed by the drama club people la. very good effort by them.

shall sleep early today. tml going rot at home. and sry to ll nic joyce. for ps'ing.

4.52am. i'm waiting for my anti virus scan finish. rahs. this world is full of chimonology stuffs for us to slowly learn and understand. we young people shld be patient and not get frustrated with "things go wrong" around. saying is easy. for me to accomplish that is another thing. juz wanna share with EVERYONE. pick urself up if u're down and continue to move on man. getting EMO is alright budden dun EMO too long. or u deserve a kick at ur ASS. wahahahahas.

I WANT TO ADMIT. THAT I AM A WEAK HUMAN BEING. I ONLY NOE HOW TO SAE SUCH STUFFS AND NOT DO IT. PLEASE KICK MY ASS.

paiseh. i subconscious le. abit crazy. when i read this post again i sure malu de.

AND WHILE I AM SUBCONSCIOUS, let me post this crazy stuff becuz i will be too paiseh to blog it next time.

MY WISH IS TO find the one.

one more question! which is better? think too much or don't bother? if u think too much it might irritate the person who dosent like u at all but if u don't bother, wad if the person likes u? tt's the problem alot of guys have. juz like my irc fren whom i juz chatted with. it aint easy to think abt the right stuffs cuz girls tend to make ppl guess wad they wan huh? not being a sexist but tt's what my Life Management Studies tutor told me 2 semester ago. and it's a she. alrights. i'm getting unconscious. and my FCUKING anti virus is done! Elasped time : 341 mins 56 seconds

nitez ppl. zZzZZzzZZzzzZZZzzZZZZZZzzZZZz.

I AM SAD. CUZ I LOST DOTA.

oh well. have always been visiting yew tee mac recently. and everytime see the same staffs. brought my laptop with me there cuz both of them wanna use. and at the start cant login the dumb wi-fi thing and sharon like so despo to use liddat. keep ask me ask the staff to help. lol. at the end i figured it out and they frenster all the way. and gen took a photo of me which she said was artistic. lol. and me eyes look freaking close 3/4. tml dunno got dance anot. and i'm waiting for wed to come cuz going back PHS. lol.

WHY WHY WHY
sigh

hehs. juz woke up. going over cousin hse soon. actually also have nth to blog abt. juz come in type a few sentences nia. be GLAD that i'm blogging so frequently now becuz dunno when in the future i will let the blog ROT again. hahs. sch's reopening in 22 days time. supposed to be longer 1 budden kena pushed forward lo. and nra camp is being postponed. so i will have to rot for that few days.

and i'll be going back PHS on this coming wed. hehs. quite awhile haven been back there le. shall go see how the sec 1 juniors are like. and a chance to meet up with RJT ppl. HAHS.

lol. today dota'ed at home till around 6 den gen ask if wan go yew tee. they damn guai sia. do hmk lo. and den keep ask me buy this buy that take this take that. like maid. zzz. and she wrote freaking big words with marker on my hand. went home at arnd 11+. and NOW 5.48 AM LIAO LEH. i still playing game. OMG LA. need go sleep le. eyes gonna pa jiao. zai jian ler. bb.

EMO LA.

hahs. who got nice english/chinese songs send me pls. ENGLISH/CHINESE pls cuz i dun wanna listen to songs which i dun understand the lyrics. guardian31221@hotmail.com. thank you very much. i'm bored of listening to the same songs over and over again everyday.

yest went to cwp to walk and have lunch alone b4 going meet gen & sharon at yewtee mac. must admit that i've been thinking TOO much. actually wanted to get rjt ppl to watch mr bean at night budden alot cant make it. only me gh wh ke can.

so i waited at yewtee mac for arnd 45mins+ b4 they came. den once sharon came in argue with ppl she dunno liao. LOL. and they did their hmk la. i went to buy fries to eat. and u noe wad? until yest den i noe there is such thing as $1 coke. even smaller den regular coke. haha. cuz gen ask me go buy den i huh? got meh? lol. at mac sit till 6 plus den go off lo.

alright. gtg sch for dance in an hr time. motivation like gone alot cuz no more funka. nevertheless i will still work hard and improve!

to gen: u're a nice mei laa. nvr let me rot at home. glad we're still meeting. hehs. =)

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。

hahs. though it was juz a few days of "life changing moments", i'm glad that it happened. at least there are good memories which will stay. i wont ask anything from anyone. juz hope that i wont give up and continue to see wad the future has for me. i'm ONLY SEVENTEEN. still YOUNG. anywae. RJT ppl lets hang out more b4 botaks go in again.

oh my. i rotted at home today. it was nth unusual for me to rot at home last time. but i guess i have been hanging out almost everyday since the saturday 2 weeks ago so today abit bu xi guan to be alone at home ba. and i do MISS those ppl i hanged out and worked with. although giving flyers was a pain, but its better than rotting at home. + i get paid for it. the past week has been very wonderful for me. i got to noe ppl whom i've suddenly been so close to. but life is back to wad it used to be now. i've had so much hope for wad i dreamed for and i realised it is juz a dream which won't be fulfilled. i'm 17. i don't noe how old or how young am i. my thoughts arent very childish nor mature. its in between. i hope i wont make any foolish decisions which i will end up regretting.

i must admit that to be able to feel again for someone is definitely good. although there are heartbreaks but at least i noe my heart is not dead. =)

utterly dissapointed

thx to wanqi for me spill everything out. yes everything is happening TOO FAST. i shall stop thinking so much and spoil my own mood. zou yi bu kan yi bu ba.

heavy rain. emo day. since a few days ago, i keep getting emo. for some reasons which i think too much abt. didnt feel like going dance when i was on my way home after meeting gen and sharon. she was sad and sian but i couldnt do anything laaa. i told myself to go for dance prac still, and end up sian 1/2. waited 2 hrs b4 class start. didnt have the mood to dance too.

kept listening to emo songs to keep me emo. tt's abit retarded i noe. talked to some people abt my probs. some things they said were true but i really have to clarify that i'm not confused with my feelings. it's FEELINGS, not THOUGHTS. it's TRUE, not FAKE. sigh. did i fall for the wrong person again. the power of having a crush is so self destructive. especially when i dunno how to express my feelings well and at the same time don't understand the other person's feelings well.

i'm like that. always too rush into things. always thinking of too much stuffs. have to learn to keep my pace low and take a step at a time. instead of getting impatient with myself and get frustrated and emo all over. i am a sucker afterall.

i found sth out and i'm kinda relieved abt it. i'm not going take any actions abt anything.

things not meant to be mine wont be mine. unless i try. =)

i'm only human. i do get messed up by my own thoughts. and also messed by up guessing wad others are thinking.

don't feel like going dance. juz came back home from cck to eat dinner. emo on the way back. cuz see some ppl face so sad. but, i still have to go dance. i cannot juz stop moving on cuz i not feeling good. have to carry on with life man. shall juz leave stuffs i pondering abt at 1 side 1st while i carry on wad i have to do with my life.

it isnt easy to like someone afterall. not to even sae love.

ALAMAK LAAAA. gen i rmb wad i wan to tell u liao. the competition i joining postponed till next year january liao. -.-

now ys bj gh at my hse watching soccer. waiting for arsenal match den watch wan quan yu le. damn funny la. LOL. K ONE's the proest boy band who can dance i've seen so far. they dance with so much groove la. solo de hua is Justin Timberlake. haha. k la match start liao. bb

|Friday|Midnight|gg sleep|

ok. i shall blog fast. wan go sleep le. wanna puke now. juz now before come home at some playground sit sit. den see 1 damn small merry go round. den all like kid go sit and turn till seh. wanna puke from bishan till all the way home.

kks. today give flyers so zzz. slack alot. kinda sian and wanna finish it fast. den time pass really damn fast. after that go collect pay and me joyce ll go amk hub b4 they both go j8 1st. gen and sharon came to amk hub buy clip. 3rd day continuously i've been meeting them. and tml will be e 4th. LOL. fun kaes. only met for a short while den i go meet rjt at j8 catch stomp the yard le. so rarely that so many ppl can turn up la. cuz 6 guys in ns. den bj wh gh ke have 2 weeks break i think. bmt over for them. omg stomp the yard is NICE la. although like quite dizzy the camera keep moving. its addictive can. the stepping and the hissing sound. the storyline also not bad. btw. gh mistook a guy for a girl who is the cashier. he thought i so pro purposely go queue the line with the "pretty girl" and den come tell me. i was like huh? girl mehs? guy voice leh. den he found out it was a GUY. HAHAHA. omg la go army come out cannot differentiate guy from girl. he see the guy too pretty liao i think. LOL. had pepper lunch for dinner after movie.

alrights la. tt's all man. anywae. my gpa dropped till 2.9. expected results budden i going to chiong next sem! tml going cck den bishan den at night got funka! no work! muahahhas. enjoy. koons liao. bb!

|Wednesday|After Work|BLOG|

z kena scold sucker. i feel so guilty. blog only when ppl ask me blog. anywae. i shall start from sat ba. woke up early in the morning to go amk give flyers as part time job. is joyce intro 1. gerald's cousin's learning centre. its call I Can Read! LOL. started giving out at amk mrt exit near cheers there 1 lo. didnt have much courage to start so give damn slow lor. den time pass damn fast give only 400+ flyers jiu 3 hrs pass le. after that me and ll went eat lunch den go take another 2 packets. so total left with 1600 flyers to give. gave faster during the afternoon budden weather damn hot. den got to know a girl call gen. she was with her fren sharon and qiting sell pens. lawl. at the end cant finish giving in time den went to blocks around to give. den managed to distribute finish.

sunday.

2nd day of work was different. took alex's lorry to bishan st8 with joyce ming da jian liang to give block by block. ming da and jian liang both joyce's fren. work with they 3 fun lo. kept joke around. we met after distributing a few no of blocks and den slacked. bishan blocks are so complicated. sucks for distributing flyers unit by unit. arnd 1 went ate lunch and went back amk mrt give. found it too hot outside den went the undergound tunnel connecting mrt and hub. den me and joyce keep give ourselves reasons to give there la. hack care if got chase by security anot. sae wad got aircon la, so many parents with child la and loads of excuses b4 we start giving. at the end, smrt staffs and even policemen walk by but we weren't chase out. LOL. md and jl came to help out. they damn pro give damn fast 1 please.

monday.

rested at home.

tuesday.

alright. met up with gen with her frenz to jurong point. it's like the 2nd time i've been there in my whole life? den ate long john 1st. didnt talk to her frenz much at the start. went walk around everywhere until left me her and 1 guy call matthew. den i started to talk more. den had to go sch for dance prac liao so they acc me to dover mrt. den they keep asking me questions la. damn funny and sensitive questions. so reached sch and had funka training den dance class den funka training and home! funka's fun.

wed.

flyers day again! took gen and her fren along. thought jl and his fren will be there budden when reach there only me gen sharon. if nvr bring them i will be giving flyers alone??? both of them good lor. hardworking 1 lehs. and den so fun la got strategy to give 1. the strategy fun + give fast + nvr alone for too long. LOL. and we 3 person give 25 blocks la. and den got fully give 1 lo. hahas. sadded tml no slots for them.

hao la. tml will be working again. after that meet rjt watch movie. dunno how long nvr watch movie le. i saw stomp the yard's trailer la and it's super zai. i think it's gonna be damn dope. shall see how tml. nitez peepz!

|Wenesday|At home|Ars vs PSV|

ahahs! seldom blog nowadays. had 6 hours long of dance training yesterday. started self prac for funka at 530. den 830 had dance class till 10 and den continue funka training till 1130. woots. now body aching again. though not as worse as last week.
hehs. jing wu men damn dope. hope we'll do well and make our funka item damn dope. woots!