ahah. i'm writing my blog entry on paper since i'm stuck to this dumb table. feeling tired yet awake la. wanna find some place with plug to use my laptop but my whole body is so stuck to the table.

well. i don't noe if it's because i'm tired or what which cause me to get so frustrated over myself. but i just can't stop thinking too much. i feel that i'm still the same me back then. feeling that imba low confidence i always used to get. talking to friends which i've known for quite some time has also become a problem. everyone seems like a stranger to me again. this dumb problem have been clinging on to me for quite some time le. what i did was always to hide. walking away was the best way to make me feel better cuz i dun like showing that imba blur low confidence face to others. but when i don't walk away, what i usually do is to meddle with stuffs on my hand. hp's the best example. if not den i'll try to sleep, but stuffs juz keep attacking my mind. I tried ways to counter this. I learnt how to joke, joke to make others and myself laugh. but it dosent work all the time. there are times when ppl talk abt normal or personal stuffs which i can't. i am not used to showing others the emotional side of me. tt's why i juz think thru most of the stuffs myself and end up getting nothing sorted. resulting in frustration. and i wonder how come i haven gone insane till now. LOL. i just so hate to get the wrong kind of attention or impression from others. even though i said before that i judge myself. LIES. i'm a human and human gets confused sometimes.

it's easy to stay optimistic most of the time but when the mood gets low, it gets real bad.

i need rest. so i'm going home early today.