dear friends, pls take care of urselves. damn the weather man. when it's hot, ppl get heaty. when it's cold, ppl catch flu. lol. drink more water and cover blanket when sleeping man. try not to bathe when it's cold. easily catch flu which i juz did. and those suffering from injuries, hope u all recover soon too. exams are coming. holidays too!!! =))))

and i shall start saving again after over spending for the past 2 weeks. no outings for me until after 9 august. 5th august exceptional.

12 to go. =)

i dislike wed thurs and fri. cuz i sleep at 2-3am the night b4 and have to wake up at 7am. damn. and i'm going to be troubled for at least 3 mths more. damn.

13 more to go! observe observe observe.

8 months i waited and i missed it liddat. but i guess the day turned out fine afterall. everything in this world happens for a reason.

it is everytime when projects are due and exams are coming which makes me realise how much i HATE schooling. it's taking too much of my time and brain space to do other things which i want to. and i'm not going to tell myself to enjoy schooling cuz it's NOT wad i want to do man. lol.

i want to quickly get over with all those exam shit and projects so i can happily do wad i wan to do without getting stressed all over. multi tasking is already stressful enough and it's worst when u want to enjoy sth u like doing but keep getting harassed by school stuffs. lol.

i noe that we must work hard to get things we want. but i hate the fact to earn a better income in singapore, u need to have a good education. damn. we humans only have 1 life man. if only singapore's dance standard is higher man. juz dance and u get money.

anywae. i think it's becuz i'm getting more lazy and selfish tt's why i will think liddat. think of only working hard in things i like to do(dance), and dun wan to bother abt anything else. someone tell me whethere all these thoughts are sinful pls. i still dont get the real purpose of life.

after typing this entry, it ends with this 2 points.
1) In this world, u cant possibly have EVERYTHING you want.
you can complain for all u want that singapore is so stressful to live in buy u cant deny the fact that it's also safe to live in.

2) Learn to be satisfied with what you have and you'll live a happier life.

it looks like i have to learn how to accept that 2 points eh? tt's life on earth. i believe heaven will be a much nicer place man.

i'm scared of getting the dissapointment if i fail but i'm not going to give up without a try. JJ JIAYOU =)

struggling but i'm trying.
sorry to those people whom i've offended unintentionally.

lol. had rehearsal in the morning yest. it wasnt a tiring one budden i still felt tired after that. den during dance prac i cui liao. slack all the way. mark all the new steps. took a bathe and went to meet everyone else at bp den go town. had dinner at town. damm. we were like walking back and forth so many times. we alighted at far east bus stop. den walk to lido to check movie slots. after that took bus to cine to check also. den decided eat dinner so walked to lucky plaza budden the ayam penak was full and got queue. so want walk back cine eat subway. when reaching le, the ayam penak person called boss sae got seats le. -.- so we walked back. lol. den eat finish walk to cine to chill again. played darts and end up deciding damn long if we want to watch movie anot.

yea. watched disturbia. damn thrilling. i wouldnt sae its a sure must watch movie budden when u watch le u wont regret 1. worth for a $9.50 ticket. yea. overall it was a nice day luh. more movies coming. =)
and to PPPPP, sleep early everyone! rest well so can dance well eh.

it dosent help by doing this.
i must help myself.

some small updates.

i wanna watch die hard 4 this sat and jay's new movie secret when it comes out on 8th august. rush hour 3 too!

i wan to get a job! will be filling in job application forms from this week.

no pocket money for me next week! cuz hp bill over. i didnt noe i use gprs till $40+ =.=

wait for me pls.

just blogged abt being optimistic today and den i got moody after that. and i realised mood aint something that u can tell urself to change. once it affects u, it'll take some time to go away. i got moody for awhile cuz of something and den after that i wasnt thinking abt it anymore but the moody feeling still got stuck there. i keep shaking my head ask me wake up and laughed my ass out during the self prac for btg while trying to be funny but the moody feeling still stuck inside. i thought i was tired budden i slept enough wad. all i feel like doing juz now was to juz take a nap and wake up hoping it's gone. but i chose to take class instead. chionged through the warm up and sequence with a blur mind and pespire like siao. and after that i started feeling better while learning the choreo. by the end of the class, i'm totally alright! hehs.

i know ppl must be thinking i'm crazy and going to get myself gg-ed if i type this. but i juz hate my brain for being so inconsistent. sometimes it feels so right to like a person while sometimes it feels so wrong to do so.

and i saw this from peggy's nick. "there's nothing right or wrong, its the thinking that makes it so". so true. juz imagine that if in this world, human are born to kill each other to survive. everyone will have THOUGHT it was the right thing to for them to do. so THINKING matters the most actually. i don't noe how to explain it la. it's such a complicated thing. juz remember that people around u affect wad u think. decide if it's RIGHT or WRONG urself. it's part of LIFE.


Life is complicated and tough, because we have to THINK and DO and den FEEL.
Maybe some imba mathematicians can come out with formulas for LIFE so that when u add THINKING + DOING = FEEL HAPPY
I dun think i'm leading a really happy life now cuz i still lack of what i want. which i might not actually get it anytime soon.
Humans can actually choose how they feel, but i chose to feel unsatisfied. I don't think it's wrong doing so. Humans always have their own needs and wants. I have mine.

i realised i'm someone who looks more to the future den look back to the past. and maybe tt's why i'm kinda optimistic. wad's over to me is over. i won't bother to think about changing the past. i rather think of making a better future. anywae no one can go back to time to change the past. not that i dun think of my past. juz that i seldom do. i cared more of my future. i tend to imagine things. imagine things which i hope will happen. and remind myself to work for what i want. ah blah. shld go back to my work. dance later!

oh wow. i was dead tired when i reached home. this has been the most tired day of my life so far la. friday had dance prac den after that suprised wei jie at his hse. slept for 3 hrs and den had technique class on sat morn. after that went town with wei jie to buy ticks for 3.45am movie. cuz almost all ticks for the whole day were sold out for harry potter la. after that we went home 1st. i had dinner with family outside at amk. it's been quite long since i've had dinner with the 3 of them together outside la. after that went to heeren to meet PPPPP. changed eh movie ticks from 3.45 to 1.30. lol. BY RIGHT, sold ticks are non refundable nor exchangeable. tt's for staffs who follow the rules. but BY LEFT are staffs who're kind and nice to take the trouble and try their best to serve their customers. lol. played darts @ level 9 b4 watching the movie. it was OK only. transformers still own. and i wanna watch die hard 4! coming sat! woots.

accompanied those who went off early while they wait for their NR. and walked from cine to clarke quay. quite a nice walk. and started the childish step shadow game. LOL. by the time we reached clarke quay it was already near 6am. so didnt sat for long den went to take bus. ULTIMATE tired already at that time. reached home and bathe. slept around 8am and woke up at 5.20pm. busy weeks coming ahead!!!

15 to go!!! i need to pay sharp attention!!!

haven had enough rest for the past 2 days so shld giet myself a break by skipping sch tml. lol. i seriously dunno if i've over skipped any tutorials or workshops anot. shld be fine ba cuz i haven received any warning letter. LOL! have been chionging dance la. stretching arh. handstand arh. turning arh. now focusing on locking. woohoo. didnt expect myself to chiong locking la and i realised it's quite nice. especially when dancing to the music.

i wonder how the next 4 mths will be for me la. go for it JIAJUN!

tough time coming ahead. time to bang as many wall as possible. chionggggg ahhhhhh. *clash* *PING* *PIANG* *PONG* ok lame.

and i want to buy psp. and i've set a criteria for myself to fufil if i wan to buy it.

met with ppppp @ bukit batok for dinner and den homed alone. having slight flu which was a little bit irritating when i was hanging out with them. left at 9.45 and reached home an hour later. didnt expect it to take that long. when i alighted at my bus stop, i was suprised that it was windy. and den told myself that it'll be nice if there's weather like this everyday. but i realised it was windy becuz there's gonna be thunderstorm soon. got tricked by the wind huh? wad appears to be nice don't always turn out nice eh.

and i'm supposed to study for tml's marketing paper retest. hope i better study after blogging and not end up doing sth else huh. and yea. i wan to sing! i kinda like singing and i always wished i have a good voice. but things liddat are born with u huh. hahs. nvm. u dun have to have a good voice to sing. also not performing. juz for self enjoyment la. alrights. end of entry. bb.

17/11/07. the date's set. now i will........................

omg i am a loser. i have loser thoughts.

sometimes human need to remember that they are just human. and not make ourselves suffer just to achieve perfection in everything u want. as long as u're doing ur best and feel happy with it, it's enough. a human only has a life, live a life with no regrets, live it well.

3am. finally later got technique class. stretch stretch stretch! and juz now everyone's learning handstand. cuz all wan learn air freeze. dope lor. lol. DANCE DANCE DANCE. i so wanna work hard and improve.

damn. i wonder if my day will be bad today. knocked my head against the bed when going to sleep. woke up at 4am+ with a dumb headache. went sch and got back my marketing paper and i failed. expected though. lol. someone pray a good day for me thx.

LONG PHOTO POST! STARTING OFF WITH BOSS B'DAY!

basically, he chua sai that day cuz he was dancing halfway and we chionged in and pinned him down. his face was pale for the whole night after that happened. LOL!

My 1st time @ Sakae Sushi with PPPPPxing's church event EMERGE`07 @ EXPOSuprise party for eve @ Alex's place tt's what will happen when BOSS offended his subordinates.
FULL strength PPPPP @ 14Tourists in Museum.

After the party, we left alex's place for yewtee's kopitiam and we found the dopest kopitiam to take photos. LOL! we talked till 6am+ that day.

My 1st individual photo with EVE =)))M&N = Messy & Nice
PPPPP's official handsign
my individual lauuuuu saiiii pose. i quite like the pic. LOL.EVERYONE FLOOD THE PLACE WITH LAUUUUU SAIIII TOGETHER! The day eve left for Perth.

June 29th Performance @ Whitley secondary

and here we have miss "scared of jiajun calls nickname" my "wear-same-clothes" buddy. LOL! everyone with ann PPPPP with Ann =) went to catch transformers and den all went home.

The few of us left at dhoby ghaut's bus stop started taking photos.

LOOK! xing's on the bus stop poster! ahahahaha! a lil editing of black and white would make this look cool.
FAKE figure 4. LOL
oh no! ronnie's gonna slam me.
i like this photo the most. trying some stuntsLittle Man. LOL! i need to learn how to love people whom i love around me, if not i dun deserve their love at all. abit confusing huh? lol. ok la. rephrase. i need to learn how to show care and concern + everything i can do to show that i love, to people whom i love instead of just thinking or saying that i do love them. love is actually something that you do and not feel. the feeling of love u have for someone has another word to describe it but i forgot. why is love sth that you do and not feel? cuz if love someone, you wont do things to hurt the person. so if u think u love someone but end up hurting him or her, it shows that u ain't loving the person man. LOL. tt's why i think i need to learn how to love people if i want people to love me back. u cant just have feelings for someone and expect them to have feelings for you when you're juz sitting around like a boss do you? lol. why would i talk abt such a thing in the 1st place. its becuz i was reminded of e past where i hurt people whom i "loved". so now i shld start learning how to love my family and friends. ok. enough of this LOVE word. LOL.

alrights. its the end of this long long post. 3.17am. sleep time!
i wanna hang out with PPPPP more and take more photos. =)

damn. my character is getting from bad to worst. getting impatient and pissed over every little things. it might be due to having not enuff sleep. when i take buses around to travel i scold f*** when a bus can get thru a traffic junction b4 red light yet it juz slowly takes its time and wait for the next 1. i get pissed when i think of doing projects. the worst is giving a pissed off tone whenever i pick up phone calls from my mum. i've already made her worry whenever i didnt inform her abt going home late and yet i still don't talk to her nicely making her feel even more upset. damn this child of hers(which is me). i may seem entertaining to my friends but it's juz a way to let off a lil bit of my stress. i want to be happy and i want to be nice to ppl around me. but i'm juz getting so stressed out. maybe 1 day i'll be joining nic wearing helmet budden it'll be a white one. LOLOLOL. someone enlighten me pls.

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management
He raised a glass of water and asked the audience,
"How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"
The students answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.
"It does not matter on the absolute weight.
It depends on how long you hold it.
If I hold it for a minute. It is Ok.
If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.
It is the exact same weight but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
we will not be able to carry on as the burden becoming increasingly heavier.
What you have to do is to put the glass down,
rest for a while before holding it up again."
We have to put down the burden periodically,
so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.
So before you return home from work tonite, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders,
let it down for a moment if you can.
Pick it up again later when you have rested.
Rest and relax. Life is short.

this mail was sent to me on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 2:25 AM and i'm still keeping it. lol. i keep mails which are meaningful. dont really rmb which was the longest mail i've kept. i've so much weight on me that i need to let go.

i always ask myself to try but.............

feeling so useless