have been so busy for the past weeks that i started to neglect certain things again. having so much things to do that i start taking things around for granted. so i want to sae thank you and sorry to everyone around me. thanks for being around and sorry for wadeva i have done wrong. as everyone noes, i am super ultra blur and might accidentally be rude in some way or another. eg. interuppting ppl talking or nvr hear what others telling me.
thanks to those who've helped me in everyway and sorry to those friends whom i couldn't be there to help. ya. the morale of this entry is that i am not a very nice person so i want to apologise for that. and i just want to sae thank you and sorry to everyone. LOL.

i enjoyed 22nd december like every other nra ppl who spent the day together did. a good performance and a great celebration.

standards are hard to maintain because goals are different each time. unless we're determined to make each attempt a better one in regardless of how important it is.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA. GIGI TORRES is my new IDOL and confirm my FAVOURITE one. her "My Love by Usher" choreo is most gosu can. i'm gonna learn it. mooohahahahahaha.

anywae. thanks to everyone who wished me on my bdae. i really think its a damn nice thing for someone to do when you sincerely go up to sumone and wish him or her happy birthday. so thanks everyone! be it from messages online or smses, it's great to noe that my bdae is remembered. thanks those who chipped in for the present. thanks to NRA, Ann, 5Ps, my seniors, juniors and ppl from my batch. thanks to RJT. thanks to my pri sch, sec sch friends and friends whom i noe from other schools. most impt. thanks to my family. my mum and dad and my bro. without them i would not be here. and i'm gonna to treat them to dinner soon. its like the 1st time in my life treating them sth? lawl.

To me, wishes are the best thing that i can receive. =) serious lol. so... xie xie le da jia. but i would prefer not to get tortured on my bdae. cuz i not very strong arh. very easy injured. lol. k la. lets all do well for sat's performance everyone! and those doing jazz on fri, JIAYOU!

omg. musicality. concentration. i have non of them. and i found out today, that i can't dance. as in really DANCE. cant even catch steps how to add in style. and when i saw fredy and yuxin dance, i was impressed. and it made me realised that i haven really been DANCING till now. its just steps and steps and steps. so now need to focus on new things to train on. lol. it's damn inspirational to see lee daniel, patrick chen and gigi torres dance and hear them talk. and gigi torres choreo damn dope la, although i only saw it from video. i feel demoralised but at the same time inspired. lawl. but of cuz i am letting the inspiration own the demoralization. moooohahahahahahaha. gubye me.

awwwwwwwwwwww. quite a pity. cant perform for 22nd. i wanted to la. butttttttttttt. juz to rest more instead of push myself to dance so that the dumb injury can fully heal. have to be pulled out. really pity. it's gonna be a fun event la. nvm. i shall treat my body nice so it better heal faster. cuz funka is like in 38 days? omgwtfbbq. lawl. 3 more papers to go. which i didnt study for it. hoho. gg.

omgwtfbbq. 3 days to common test. and i start studying today. as usual so late. my study plans keep failing. i will never change this habit i noe. LOL. unless i have someone to nag me to study if not i sure keep wasting my time by getting distracted and rotting away. and I AM RECOVERING. don't know how fast, but i am able to MOVE MY LEG WITHOUT PAIN BUT WITH ACHES. lol. my back wont ache as much le but it's like BA GUA NOW. 12 rounds prints on my back cuz of those wooden flame sucking cups. and dunno how many needle marks. the sinseh damn gosu. she nvr ask anything but just ask me lie flat on the bed. den press my thigh until i pain den suddenly i feel sth sharp poking thru my back skin. SHE DIDNT TELL ME SHE PUTTING NEEDLES. LOL. when i wan to turn and look at my back to confirm those were needles, i think already got 6-8 needles on my back le. LOL. den awhile later she lit those wooden cups with fire and attached it on my back and i can feel those things sucking on to my skin. not very comfortable but not very uncomfortable also. but i still fell asleep on the bed cuz i heard she told my mum need around 30 mins. the most pain part has come. she applied some medicine on my calf and rub. and i didnt noe why my calf got some swollen thing. and she rub damn hard. and it was SUPER WTFBBQ GOSU PAIN. i gek till my hands sweat. LOL. seriously gosu pain.

so hopefully my muscle aches will all stop by friday. so maybe i can start dancing next week. and now i have sore throat. gu bye. made me feel so sick and feel like slacking today. alright. i go cont study. bye bye.

i wonder how can korean drama be so sweet. i only went to the living room and watched it for abt 5 mins without knowing what show is that but the feel juz kept flowing out. gosu.

and ann and ryan item at o school recital really touched everyone deeply. it was really a once in a lifetime performance which cannot be missed.

and seriously, the thought of not being able to dance is imba shit. it felt just like losing my purpose to live. and did i not take care of myself? i did, but maybe not enough to prevent myself from getting injured. a learning lesson for me indeed.

for the first time in my life. i felt so scared of what may become a reality.

i'm gonna rest and pray and rest and pray that this injury shan't hinder me in my dance progress. gu bye. i think it's a retribution for slaying too many monsters in psp. and now i'm limping like them. i am TRYING to have showmanship but i still cant give it all out. sucked. and training freestyle takes more than talent. it takes confidence which i don't have. gu bye. and i am still looking at the floor when i dance. in irwin's item. this is gosu shit. actually i didnt thought abt wad i wanted to blog. juz typed out wadeva that poped out of my mind. and i will work hard for funka cuz it's a TEAM effort. dun wanna drag anyone down. so everyone. pray for me pls. and rmb to give thanks. nights.

COMMON TEST IN 10 DAYS TIME? WTH? I'M GONNA WHINE AGAIN.

"life CAN be made more fulfilling if we had more time in this world"

correct

"life CAN be made more fulfilling if you do the right things at the right time"

also correct

but time is not sth that i can increase.
the only thing i can do is to study instead of sleep during lessons.
sleep instead of study at night. work only when i am really free. and dance whenever i can.
cuz dancing is the most fulfilling thing to me right now. much much more than finding my love. LOL. that thing will just come when the time is right. but for DANCE, i cant waste any time. it's not just about becoming a better dancer, not just about doing what i like to do. it's about much more things. and talking abt doing the right things at the right time. i should go sleep now. NIGHTS~

and happy 40th bdae to my mum and happy 30th bdae to ann. LOL.

WORK, STUDY, ASSIGNMENTS, DANCE.

I NEED MORE TIME. CUZ I WANT TO DANCE. DANCE > STUDIES + WORK
and i am gonna starting chionging NEXT WEEK. damn this busy week.

lol. i realised that there are so so so so much photos that i can put up from xing's multiply. i am going to do like 0.01% photo blogging of the 10000000++++ photos she has uploaded. a pretty funny 1 at amk hub.

started taking photos by acting cool

i suggested to do different poses and ronnie with a GREAT idea started um chio'ingron: i do this pose la *stretches hands and tries to touch something*

me: *laughs*trying to protect myself while others thinking of new poseme: eh come! we do act guai pose!

so like the photo shows, no one cares abt wad i said and ronnie continue to do his stuffs.bw at this point of time did sth stupid and kena aimed by all of us
bw : *ZAO AH*
shane got backstabbed. *end of story* LOL
the 5Ps formal shot except for 1 extra strawberry condom

although it's only a year and a half i've been in nra and around 6 mths i've spent with PPPPP. The memories and the bond we shared and created is already this HUGE. ya i mean this HUGE. this this this this HUGE.

if u cant see it nvm. u just have to know that it's this HUGE. LOL.

it's non measurable u see. and thank you all for leading me to this life which i WANT. i rmb the 1st step which i took, was when we were at alameen's bus stop. i took that bus and followed you guys to bpp mac. talked abt going sentosa the next day and went to bw's hse to stay overnight. if not for that 10 seconds of deciding whether i should follow you all up the bus, i seriously dunno when i will train isolation till. LOL. and i'm sure ronnie alex xing and eve will hate me to take bus home with them.

maybe i've gotten ABIT noisier now then last time, LOL. maybe MANYBITS la. budden sorry if sometimes too over liao become irritating eh. and i also don't know why i left 3hrs to sleep still typing this post la. maybe too long nvr blog liao so now want to make confession. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. each and every single 1 of you have been great great friends la. and let's work hard to be great great DANCERS too.

lol. to me, it's hard because i'm lazy. we all noe wad is expected in dancing. sharpness, accent, feel and everything. juz keep practicing over and over again to get it. once you learnt and get the hang of it, u can apply it when learning new choreos next time. repeated like a million times, *dancing is not about steps*. everyone noes that. i have a bad habit which is to induldge myself with the song when dancing and think got alot of feel eh. budden when i watch myself on video it's like shit. LOL. seriously. i think must keep taking video of ourselves dancing so can see where error.

k la. enough liao. type all these to describe my thoughts only. ppl who read these might have thought of it before le. but it's my turn now, be it wols or wadeva. i have so much goals in my life now. lol.

omg. found.

LOL. OK. I AM BACK. it means that................... i am back to normal again. lol. but i am not happy yet. sorry. i am LAZY to blog abt wad has happened recently. juz had 2 peformances yesterday finally had a proper rest after lacking of sleep for 2 weeks. sleeping for 4 hours everyday. lol. and anywae. damn. how to find a person whom i have no clues at all except the face. if i at least have the school, it would be like 99% easier. damn. FATE arh.

LOL! it's just my template that it's back. i'm not back yet. =x

i guess it'll take quite a while b4 i officially reopen my blog. lol. cuz i have nth to share with anyone now. i promise my entries will be happy and interesting ones when i come back. lawl. now i have new aims regarding dance and i'll work hard for it =) take care peeps.

lol. sorry. closed my blog. it'll be back but dunno when.

i pray for good health, good mind, good body for everyone.

looking forward to the future. u won't noe wad's gonna happen, tt's wad makes it interesting.

isnt easy but i'm trying hard. actually i'm lil sad. juz a little, when i dun think that much.

lol. i think there's juz too much coincidence happening in my life le ba. after living for 18 years. destiny? fate? choice? i dun believe in destiny but i believe in fate. and i believe that choices can change fate. lol.

exactly 3 years ago on this date, i used the song wake me up when september ends. but now i'm not gonna sleep anymore. rofl. and i juz ling wu sth. bad answers dosent leads to bad results. results need not be the marks but the learning process. when u learnt sth good from the bad, den wad's so bad abt it? lol.

and helmet head said ji zi instead of zi ji(meaning: ownself). LAWL.

it still dosent feels good to think abt it. but today has definitely been a better day den yest. and tml will be a better day den today. =)

everything juz makes sense when i allowed myself to think abt it. dun really wanna accept it but i have to. there's no reason for me to keep myself sad when i can choose to be happy. i did wad i could so i juz have to accept that it's fate.

be brave

Ann is dope. she fufilled so many of her dreams during her dancing years. i fufilled only one of mine, which is to join NRA and progress on dance after sec sch. i have another BIG DREAM. which is to open a BIG dance school with my dance friends. LOL. and must be dope one, where people from other countries come to singapore to learn dance. maybe i think TOO MUCH, but it's not impossible. lol.

yest was the most suckiest day of my life since 18 sept 2004. almost 3 years. wow. but i noe i have to accept it. fuck. now i need distractions temporarily. i dun wanna stay at home.

finally it's gonna be over. let's see how long will i take to move on. =)
i need my friends.

peaceless

i've learnt so much from this competition and i want to thank everyone for it.

to 8 steps: i am glad to be part of this team. we've gone thru so much training to push ourselves and improve on our item. yes we bonded and we showed love through dance. for God, for everyone.

to whole of NRA: be it alumni, seniors, juniors or freshies. thx for all the wishes, hugs, cheers, handshakes and everything else. i believe that there's always something to learn from each individual and thank all of u guys for being my role model. let's all continue to work hard to grow as both a dancer and a family.

to Ann: thx for being the greatest instuctor ever and guiding us thruout this comp. there's just too much u've done to make everyone improve. u're more than an instructor to us.

yea. finally suntec is over. lets juz put it aside and make sure our next performance/competition will be even a better one. lolololol.

thx peg,xing,sonia,eve,david,shane for coming down. plus the liang cha last week plus the envelope plus the safety pin plus the smses.

Dear friends,

1stly i will like to thank you all for being my friends. LOL.
thx for entertaining me and letting me entertain u guys.
i seriously feel happy when i make you guys laugh.
and i realised it's easier to live for others than to live for your own self.
when u live for urself, u become emo when u dun get wad u desire.
and i dun need people to make me happy. i can make myself happy when i make my friends happy =)

which is juz like wad patrick from all-stars said to us 8 steps juz now.
dance not juz for urself but for everyone else.
when u dance juz to improve urself and the more u expect of urself, the more stress u'll get.
but when u dance for others. for ur team, for the audience, for ur friends, for the judges.
u show them ur love for dance, u work hard with ur team for a common goal and most imptly enjoy the dance.
u will not only improve technically, but also make ppl feel the goosebumps with all the passion shown. rofl.

yea tt's all.

less than 42 hours to suntec. once again, go 8 STEPS, POSHBITES, IN.BASS, ROUGH ADDICTS, F.BEATX!, TERENCE, KEN, ALEX. rest well everyone and hope all those who're injured recover fast. let's enjoy performing. =)

2 missions. 1 day.

prepared and ready to go with a shield.

Evan Almighty

Lol. not really funny as expected budden i still like the show. =)

there will always be opportunities around you.
it's juz the matter whether u see them and decide if u want to use them.
people will always be given the chance to WORK for what they want.

juz give me one more week

i learnt one more thing abt using core to do isolations today. if i hadnt been pointed out, i still would be doing it the wrong way i guess. lol. the standard which i want to reach is still so far away.

soon.

dreams, dreams, dreams..... zzz...

sorry for my low confidence.
tt's what i hate abt myself.

i was SERIOUSLY OVERJOYED juz now la. it was 100% into the finals. 5 teams(IN.BASS(8), ROUGH ADDICTS(7), F BEATZ(5), 8 STEPS(8), POSHBITES(6) + 3 solos(ALEX, KEN, TERENCE) into the finals. which means 35 ppl in total got in finals. (i nvr count wrong cuz ken and terence in in.bass. lol. seriously damn happy can. even though most seniors have joined and got into many competition finals b4, still can see that they're damn glad when everyone got in the finals of this comp together cuz it's the 1st time when no one was left out. the feeling really damn high when postbites was being called. damn touched man. getting into finals is really a bonus to me la. allows me to work really hard for another 2 weeks to improve on performing well on stage(mainly showmanship and confidence). as for dance, 1 MORE DAY TILL CLASS RESUMES. MUAHAHAHAHA. back to basics!

thanks again everyone! esp peggy xing sonia eve david and shane. PPPPP rocks =)

14 hours. once again. GO POSTBITES, IN BASS, ROUGH ADDICTS, F BEATZ. ENJOY DOING YOUR SHOW AND WE'LL ENJOY WATCHING OURS.

zzzzzzzzzzzz. wad's wrong with my back.

2 mths more.

LOL. dun hate me for not studying man. i hands itchy keep finding things to do online and i found out i am being tagged by joyce to do this. LOL.

List out the top 5 birthday present that you wish for:
i dun wish to list out anything like that. i will be glad enough if ppl rmb my bdae.
Answer the following questions:
1.(the person who tag you is ...)
Joyce Tan
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...)
My best buddy ever.
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..)
she noes how to make her own life meaningful. she's matured, nice, pretty and she dun forget her friends.
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you)
lol. i dunno. too much of memorable stuffs with RJT.
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you)
same as Qn 4.
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..)
lol. she'll still be my best buddy ever.
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
Nothing.
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...)
I'll regret.
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...)
when singapore snows. LOL!
10. (the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...)
let her noe i'm paiseh for dissappearing from RJT. LOL.
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...)
Nice.
12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?)
In my own world.
13.(the character you love of yourself are ...)
tolerant with ppl.
14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...)
thinking too much.
15.(the most ideal person you want to be is ...)
a person with much more confidence
16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..)
I want you guys to be happy and sorry if i did any hurting things to u all.
17.(pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you)
PPPPP and RJT ppl do if u hands itchy like me. LOL.

3rd HEATS this coming SAT. HIGH. POSHBITES, IN BASS, ROUGH ADDICTS, F BEATX. i noe they'll do great.

why is it juz a dream? sigh.

i cant wait for dance class to resume man. 27th JULY! 10 more days. thirst for improvements. LOL.

as i watch our competition video over and over again, i think we were only 50% prepared. =.= so much things to be improved on. main thing is actions all too small on stage. cant see energy flowing out while we dance.

dancing is not all about steps.

i am going to watch secret next monday. lol.

I AM GONNA START OFF WELL NEXT SEM!!! IT'S CRAZY TO STUDY SUBJECTS WHICH I HAVE TO MEMORIZE INSTEAD OF UNDERSTANDING. LOL. 3 MODULES SUMMOR.

not a bad day today. i studied more than i did yesterday. but it's not gonna be enough cuz i have 4 papers but i am taking like 4 days to study 1 paper. best of luck to me den.

why am i such a person. lol.

i noe i do have characteristics which ppl dun really like. but, it's juz me. if ppl cant accept me for who i am, what can i do? leave?

i may not be born a nice person but i did try.

lol. dunno why recently i like to write down things i found abt myself. today i realised actually i have high pride regarding some issues. and it's not something very good cuz i'll become sensitive when talking abt those issues and end up words nvr go through brain jiu come out le.

and i want to apologise for inconsiderate things i've done/said. i'll try to become a better person eh.

PHOTOS!

on the way to suntec

@ BK DA BAO FOOD

8 STEPS featuring DT, PY, HH (LOLOLOLOL)RED BULL. it really helps!RJT =) but where are the GUYS!?!?!?Just 8 STEPSwith Annwith DA TOUwith HELMET HEADwith REGGAE KINGwith PEAR YEEwith AH NIAwith BOSSwith FRESHIES
zzz. MICROPHONE
Last but not least. end of Suntec Dance Competition Heats 1

i have high faith, but low confidence. it's not contradicting. i can explain why. lol.

the misunderstanding shld be cleared. we have to stay strong as a group to hold the club and we all noe where the problem is at. and we have to take bigger steps in bonding. tt's how a club shld be.

and i also want to thank Ann for being there for us and giving us advices, Sophan for leading 8 STEPS and every 8 STEPS members for the choreos and effort in our whole item.
also want to thank those who helped in looking at our practices and giving us comments.

LASTLY, i am glad that my family came down to watch. =) thank you.

happy/sad

am i stuck between or at both ends.

it's true that i can choose how i want to feel, but somehow it's juz not right.

yes. the heats is over. i did enjoyed and didnt have any regrets with my performance. there are parts which we did better than during our prac and parts which we didnt do as well as we have done during prac. we juz have to keep on improving eh. and i loved the 1 week training at block 40. it dosent mean that with no studio, we cant dance. =)

and now, i wan to thank 8 STEPS. we did a good job and we'll do a even better job if we have a chance to perform again. and thanks to all the supporters who came down or smsed to encourage and cheer for us. =) it really made us feel alot more confident b4 going up on stage. i had a great night yesterday. XIE LE! next up we have poshbites, inbass, rough addicts and f beats on the next 2 saturdays outside suntec tower 5. JIAYOU!

now the video for those who didnt managed to catch it.

7hrs 40 mins left. CONFIDENCE. I DEMAND U TO COME NOW!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOOO. I PROMISE MYSELF TO HAVE NO REGRETS.

i don't noe where i stand. and i think i shld juz leave this aside until then. this is no time for me to feel troubled. i may regret but tt's all i can do. there are others who are more capable than me and if i lose, i have no one to blame except to accept that i am weak. lol.

39hrs 20mins! EXCITED! HIGH! OMG!

to be exact. it's 64 hours to suntec. wooohoooooo. i can feel my leg recovering. can full out dance liao. thank God. and so sorry to ps those who went butter fact. prac ended late cuz of some changes and cleaning thru the choreo and formations. and we didnt plan our resting time properly cuz left with only 2 more days. this is the time for me to be confident instead of feeling nervous everytime during performance. cuz we've chionged so much and not gonna put our effort to waste. time to enjoy man. gogogo. 8 STEPS.

time to sleep. i seriously hope i can sleep peacefully tonight.

and HAPPY 18th BDAY TO MR OGUS. LAWL.

Girlfriend.

i think everyone enjoyed it. =)

everyone's got their injuries. but i think i got mine in the most stupid way. i tied my gutter at my thigh so can pull up my track pants and den i danced to the house. cuz the gutter tighten my thigh muscle den after dancing jiu overstretched it liao. now right leg cui liao. zzz. it better recover when i wake up tml pls. i have no time to rest till it fully recovers b4 i dance again. so ppl pray for miracle to happen pls. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

and i've been struggling with emotions and it really does work somehow when u tell urself u can be happy if u choose to. cuz i juz feel the bad mood gone when i tell myself to let go of it. although i didnt feel happy juz by telling myself to be happy la. lol. at least it was 50% efficient la. anywae. dancing really makes me a happier person. =) gotta sleep.

started off the day bad but i'm glad it ended well. hope i have peaceful sleep tonight. yest i was so pek chek when i wanted to sleep early but end up rolling on the bed cant fall asleep. zzzz.

still. i am unchangeable. muahahahahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahaha. hahahaha. hahaha. ha. ha. ha. how fake.

juz came back home from chilling at esplanade. b4 that was at bw's bbq. he's bdae soon eh. national day birthday boy. rofl. this coming week gonna be quite a high week eh. cuz sat suntec heats le. will be chionging like siao la. hope will be confident instead of nervous by den. and my leg abit weird eh. i think pull-ed dao. if no pain means not injury right? lol. and i want to buy psp by end of september. =)







have been trying to stay positive so far.

hey hey you you i dun like your girlfriend.

LOL. damn it. i tried to act liao man. budden still cant work. no feel at all. gg la my showmanship. hope it'll be good on the full dress rehearsal and actual performance. i'll try harder eh.

somehow i hope it's being realised. but still quite some time b4 that fateful day. lol.

stress piling up. zzz. i was doing the damn wda report in blaw tutorial and i was moaning abt it so loudly that when the tutor talking halfway the whole class turn back and look at me. =.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.= x 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

august 02/07. not a good day.

dreams again. funny one though. knocked down by a car when chasing bus. den everyone got shock. budden i juz stood up perfectly fine. i already said it was juz a dream. =.=

trust

wad's with all these dreams and daydreams man.

not being emo budden i think i'm quite hopeless. so much things which i can do but i didnt.

alrights. 3 sentence to confess.

I LOVE BALLOONS.

I LOVE DANCE.

I LOVE PPPPP.

Nights ppl. time for harry potter. =)

*updated

*taken from peggy blog
to pegg: sorry for biting again. LOL.

well, well, well. food for thought. truthfully i've taken today's performance quite lightly. as i had the "its only a performance" thought. not that i didnt full out for the item. it's juz that i thought i'm already well prepared to perform so i didnt keep practicing over and over again. but after hearing the debrief, i was reminded that no matter how big/small scale a performance/competition is, we still have to put in the same amount of effort. if we don't, outsiders will take it as our standard has dropped. cuz their expectation of us will only increase each time they see us perform. so next time no matter wad performance also must do nice nice neat neat liao. everyone clear steps and formation swee swee. lol.

damn, i said i will only blog a one sentence entry. =x

dear friends, pls take care of urselves. damn the weather man. when it's hot, ppl get heaty. when it's cold, ppl catch flu. lol. drink more water and cover blanket when sleeping man. try not to bathe when it's cold. easily catch flu which i juz did. and those suffering from injuries, hope u all recover soon too. exams are coming. holidays too!!! =))))

and i shall start saving again after over spending for the past 2 weeks. no outings for me until after 9 august. 5th august exceptional.

12 to go. =)

i dislike wed thurs and fri. cuz i sleep at 2-3am the night b4 and have to wake up at 7am. damn. and i'm going to be troubled for at least 3 mths more. damn.

13 more to go! observe observe observe.

8 months i waited and i missed it liddat. but i guess the day turned out fine afterall. everything in this world happens for a reason.

it is everytime when projects are due and exams are coming which makes me realise how much i HATE schooling. it's taking too much of my time and brain space to do other things which i want to. and i'm not going to tell myself to enjoy schooling cuz it's NOT wad i want to do man. lol.

i want to quickly get over with all those exam shit and projects so i can happily do wad i wan to do without getting stressed all over. multi tasking is already stressful enough and it's worst when u want to enjoy sth u like doing but keep getting harassed by school stuffs. lol.

i noe that we must work hard to get things we want. but i hate the fact to earn a better income in singapore, u need to have a good education. damn. we humans only have 1 life man. if only singapore's dance standard is higher man. juz dance and u get money.

anywae. i think it's becuz i'm getting more lazy and selfish tt's why i will think liddat. think of only working hard in things i like to do(dance), and dun wan to bother abt anything else. someone tell me whethere all these thoughts are sinful pls. i still dont get the real purpose of life.

after typing this entry, it ends with this 2 points.
1) In this world, u cant possibly have EVERYTHING you want.
you can complain for all u want that singapore is so stressful to live in buy u cant deny the fact that it's also safe to live in.

2) Learn to be satisfied with what you have and you'll live a happier life.

it looks like i have to learn how to accept that 2 points eh? tt's life on earth. i believe heaven will be a much nicer place man.

i'm scared of getting the dissapointment if i fail but i'm not going to give up without a try. JJ JIAYOU =)

struggling but i'm trying.
sorry to those people whom i've offended unintentionally.

lol. had rehearsal in the morning yest. it wasnt a tiring one budden i still felt tired after that. den during dance prac i cui liao. slack all the way. mark all the new steps. took a bathe and went to meet everyone else at bp den go town. had dinner at town. damm. we were like walking back and forth so many times. we alighted at far east bus stop. den walk to lido to check movie slots. after that took bus to cine to check also. den decided eat dinner so walked to lucky plaza budden the ayam penak was full and got queue. so want walk back cine eat subway. when reaching le, the ayam penak person called boss sae got seats le. -.- so we walked back. lol. den eat finish walk to cine to chill again. played darts and end up deciding damn long if we want to watch movie anot.

yea. watched disturbia. damn thrilling. i wouldnt sae its a sure must watch movie budden when u watch le u wont regret 1. worth for a $9.50 ticket. yea. overall it was a nice day luh. more movies coming. =)
and to PPPPP, sleep early everyone! rest well so can dance well eh.

it dosent help by doing this.
i must help myself.

some small updates.

i wanna watch die hard 4 this sat and jay's new movie secret when it comes out on 8th august. rush hour 3 too!

i wan to get a job! will be filling in job application forms from this week.

no pocket money for me next week! cuz hp bill over. i didnt noe i use gprs till $40+ =.=

wait for me pls.

just blogged abt being optimistic today and den i got moody after that. and i realised mood aint something that u can tell urself to change. once it affects u, it'll take some time to go away. i got moody for awhile cuz of something and den after that i wasnt thinking abt it anymore but the moody feeling still got stuck there. i keep shaking my head ask me wake up and laughed my ass out during the self prac for btg while trying to be funny but the moody feeling still stuck inside. i thought i was tired budden i slept enough wad. all i feel like doing juz now was to juz take a nap and wake up hoping it's gone. but i chose to take class instead. chionged through the warm up and sequence with a blur mind and pespire like siao. and after that i started feeling better while learning the choreo. by the end of the class, i'm totally alright! hehs.

i know ppl must be thinking i'm crazy and going to get myself gg-ed if i type this. but i juz hate my brain for being so inconsistent. sometimes it feels so right to like a person while sometimes it feels so wrong to do so.

and i saw this from peggy's nick. "there's nothing right or wrong, its the thinking that makes it so". so true. juz imagine that if in this world, human are born to kill each other to survive. everyone will have THOUGHT it was the right thing to for them to do. so THINKING matters the most actually. i don't noe how to explain it la. it's such a complicated thing. juz remember that people around u affect wad u think. decide if it's RIGHT or WRONG urself. it's part of LIFE.


Life is complicated and tough, because we have to THINK and DO and den FEEL.
Maybe some imba mathematicians can come out with formulas for LIFE so that when u add THINKING + DOING = FEEL HAPPY
I dun think i'm leading a really happy life now cuz i still lack of what i want. which i might not actually get it anytime soon.
Humans can actually choose how they feel, but i chose to feel unsatisfied. I don't think it's wrong doing so. Humans always have their own needs and wants. I have mine.

i realised i'm someone who looks more to the future den look back to the past. and maybe tt's why i'm kinda optimistic. wad's over to me is over. i won't bother to think about changing the past. i rather think of making a better future. anywae no one can go back to time to change the past. not that i dun think of my past. juz that i seldom do. i cared more of my future. i tend to imagine things. imagine things which i hope will happen. and remind myself to work for what i want. ah blah. shld go back to my work. dance later!

oh wow. i was dead tired when i reached home. this has been the most tired day of my life so far la. friday had dance prac den after that suprised wei jie at his hse. slept for 3 hrs and den had technique class on sat morn. after that went town with wei jie to buy ticks for 3.45am movie. cuz almost all ticks for the whole day were sold out for harry potter la. after that we went home 1st. i had dinner with family outside at amk. it's been quite long since i've had dinner with the 3 of them together outside la. after that went to heeren to meet PPPPP. changed eh movie ticks from 3.45 to 1.30. lol. BY RIGHT, sold ticks are non refundable nor exchangeable. tt's for staffs who follow the rules. but BY LEFT are staffs who're kind and nice to take the trouble and try their best to serve their customers. lol. played darts @ level 9 b4 watching the movie. it was OK only. transformers still own. and i wanna watch die hard 4! coming sat! woots.

accompanied those who went off early while they wait for their NR. and walked from cine to clarke quay. quite a nice walk. and started the childish step shadow game. LOL. by the time we reached clarke quay it was already near 6am. so didnt sat for long den went to take bus. ULTIMATE tired already at that time. reached home and bathe. slept around 8am and woke up at 5.20pm. busy weeks coming ahead!!!

15 to go!!! i need to pay sharp attention!!!

haven had enough rest for the past 2 days so shld giet myself a break by skipping sch tml. lol. i seriously dunno if i've over skipped any tutorials or workshops anot. shld be fine ba cuz i haven received any warning letter. LOL! have been chionging dance la. stretching arh. handstand arh. turning arh. now focusing on locking. woohoo. didnt expect myself to chiong locking la and i realised it's quite nice. especially when dancing to the music.

i wonder how the next 4 mths will be for me la. go for it JIAJUN!

tough time coming ahead. time to bang as many wall as possible. chionggggg ahhhhhh. *clash* *PING* *PIANG* *PONG* ok lame.

and i want to buy psp. and i've set a criteria for myself to fufil if i wan to buy it.

met with ppppp @ bukit batok for dinner and den homed alone. having slight flu which was a little bit irritating when i was hanging out with them. left at 9.45 and reached home an hour later. didnt expect it to take that long. when i alighted at my bus stop, i was suprised that it was windy. and den told myself that it'll be nice if there's weather like this everyday. but i realised it was windy becuz there's gonna be thunderstorm soon. got tricked by the wind huh? wad appears to be nice don't always turn out nice eh.

and i'm supposed to study for tml's marketing paper retest. hope i better study after blogging and not end up doing sth else huh. and yea. i wan to sing! i kinda like singing and i always wished i have a good voice. but things liddat are born with u huh. hahs. nvm. u dun have to have a good voice to sing. also not performing. juz for self enjoyment la. alrights. end of entry. bb.

17/11/07. the date's set. now i will........................

omg i am a loser. i have loser thoughts.

sometimes human need to remember that they are just human. and not make ourselves suffer just to achieve perfection in everything u want. as long as u're doing ur best and feel happy with it, it's enough. a human only has a life, live a life with no regrets, live it well.

3am. finally later got technique class. stretch stretch stretch! and juz now everyone's learning handstand. cuz all wan learn air freeze. dope lor. lol. DANCE DANCE DANCE. i so wanna work hard and improve.

damn. i wonder if my day will be bad today. knocked my head against the bed when going to sleep. woke up at 4am+ with a dumb headache. went sch and got back my marketing paper and i failed. expected though. lol. someone pray a good day for me thx.

LONG PHOTO POST! STARTING OFF WITH BOSS B'DAY!

basically, he chua sai that day cuz he was dancing halfway and we chionged in and pinned him down. his face was pale for the whole night after that happened. LOL!

My 1st time @ Sakae Sushi with PPPPPxing's church event EMERGE`07 @ EXPOSuprise party for eve @ Alex's place tt's what will happen when BOSS offended his subordinates.
FULL strength PPPPP @ 14Tourists in Museum.

After the party, we left alex's place for yewtee's kopitiam and we found the dopest kopitiam to take photos. LOL! we talked till 6am+ that day.

My 1st individual photo with EVE =)))M&N = Messy & Nice
PPPPP's official handsign
my individual lauuuuu saiiii pose. i quite like the pic. LOL.EVERYONE FLOOD THE PLACE WITH LAUUUUU SAIIII TOGETHER! The day eve left for Perth.

June 29th Performance @ Whitley secondary

and here we have miss "scared of jiajun calls nickname" my "wear-same-clothes" buddy. LOL! everyone with ann PPPPP with Ann =) went to catch transformers and den all went home.

The few of us left at dhoby ghaut's bus stop started taking photos.

LOOK! xing's on the bus stop poster! ahahahaha! a lil editing of black and white would make this look cool.
FAKE figure 4. LOL
oh no! ronnie's gonna slam me.
i like this photo the most. trying some stuntsLittle Man. LOL! i need to learn how to love people whom i love around me, if not i dun deserve their love at all. abit confusing huh? lol. ok la. rephrase. i need to learn how to show care and concern + everything i can do to show that i love, to people whom i love instead of just thinking or saying that i do love them. love is actually something that you do and not feel. the feeling of love u have for someone has another word to describe it but i forgot. why is love sth that you do and not feel? cuz if love someone, you wont do things to hurt the person. so if u think u love someone but end up hurting him or her, it shows that u ain't loving the person man. LOL. tt's why i think i need to learn how to love people if i want people to love me back. u cant just have feelings for someone and expect them to have feelings for you when you're juz sitting around like a boss do you? lol. why would i talk abt such a thing in the 1st place. its becuz i was reminded of e past where i hurt people whom i "loved". so now i shld start learning how to love my family and friends. ok. enough of this LOVE word. LOL.

alrights. its the end of this long long post. 3.17am. sleep time!
i wanna hang out with PPPPP more and take more photos. =)